Sponge bath it is.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
