Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize