There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
this will be a night to untag.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
