No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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