Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
