Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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