suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
