people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
