Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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