I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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