Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize