it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I need to calm my uterus...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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