Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
