The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
