forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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