I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
