Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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