My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Randomize
