Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
