she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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