you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
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I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
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The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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