just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
