Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
