Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
