i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
