i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
