I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
