Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
