I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
