i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
