the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize