They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
