She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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