After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
