Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
