you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
