Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
