just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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