I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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