she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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