the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
