Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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