I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
im on a boat
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