Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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