I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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