I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
