A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
