i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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