you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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