well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
