I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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