no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
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We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize