Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
