Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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