just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
