i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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