I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize