My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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