I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize