Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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